Last week I had one of those lazy discussions with my
girlfriends about what was happening in their lives. Some were enthusiastic of how
successful their school projects were going, how they have managed to get their
finances right. However, some were lamenting at how juggling between work and
school was tiring them down. As usual there were the “congrats” and the “sorry”.
After a lengthy bit of that, we went to the inevitable topic of men and boys. One particular story of
one of my many girlfriends caught my attention.
I do not want to make the presumption of saying that all the
men she has gone out with are jerks. It will sound offensive and out of line of
the girlfriend code: do not talk ill of one another (Lol! Which girl/woman does
not do that………aaaah, I do not). Honestly, some of the men she has gone out with
are gentlemen but those that her heart had chosen to love end up being jerks.
Our society has made us believe on the notions that as
people advance in age the wiser they become. The logic, most of the times are
true and irrefutable but at times it is the direct opposite. Now her latest
love was a “man” older than she was. From
the first impression she got from the man, he looked like a mature man with all
the manly goods wrapped in one. Some of us actually met him and from my first
impression of him I found him attractive and responsible, (my opinion was
entirely neutral with no biasness). What
I loved about him more was the fact that he made her very happy. We were used
to hearing his name in almost every conversation we had with her. She was very
very happy and I was so happy for her.
However, the honeymoon ended even before it got a chance to
start. Apparently, in one of her visits to his place she walks into a house of
a man and a woman who have just shagged.
She came back to my house full of fury and anger leashing all out to the space (just
wished she had told him). She narrates how she knocks on the door and a woman
opens it. She feels numb and gets a little courage and asks where the guy is
and she is told he is in the bathroom, and gets the door slammed at her face! She
gets courage again (plus her strong will and stubbornness) and enters into the
house and sits patiently waiting for the guy to finish showering. She has
already taken a scope of the place with her eyes noting the woman is wearing
one of her favorite shirts. Damn! She continues waiting for him and losing
patience, goes and pushes the bathroom door. The guy sensing her presence in the
house takes longer in the bathroom (she narrates it in a jokingly manner that I
try desperately to hide my laughter. She narrates gestural with intonation of
how the shower was three times longer than normal). The guy gathers courage and
comes out of the bathroom finally. Phew!
However, he stifles a “hi” which tricks my boiling
girlfriend who is also paralyzed by her discovery. Eventually numbness takes
over and she asks in a dry throat who the b***h was. Talk of stupid and
uncaring men, the SOB replies “you did not tell me you were coming”. What the
hell! I felt like running towards the jerk with a vengeful mission to make him
regret crossing path with my girlfriends. I became angrier than she was and
felt her pain more. How dare him! 
She keeps on lamenting and talking continuously of the guy
but I had already drifted off to my zone. I kept on thinking of how the “man”
could shoot back an answer like that even when he has been caught in the act. I
tried every possible answer but they all did not make sense. Finally, as I was
busy chatting up with my boys, I accidentally brought up the topic. He gave his analysis
to the situation that I had not even thought of.
People react differently when caught doing a wrong that
changes the fate of his or her life. However, how one reacts after getting over
the shock of being found makes things harder or smoother. From his opinion, if
the man was in love with my friend he would have followed after her and
apologized immediately. Even if he is just saying sorry because it counts more
than keeping quiet on the matter for weeks (that’s what he did). Never did the
man apologize to her. His only excuse was “I am not perfect”. Crap! I can do
better than that if I was caught in such a situation.
Eventually she got over her heartache, is now living happily
enjoying the dates, and flowers. She is happy once more but left with a lesson that
not all older men are mature. Some are more immature than that first year
classmate of mine is. Additionally, as a lesson for my readers, and me as much
as you are caught in the wrong, try to make a positive approach to the matter. Say
a “genuine sorry” and run to the hills if you fear for your life.
