I have
been debating within myself for a very long time whether to write about this
topic or not. There are so many times I have taken my computer, written a page
about it and then something clicks in my mind to stop writing. The reason(s)
that have been making me to put down my computer and do something else is when I
think of my audience. It is hard to look for a specific manner in which I can
write this topic and it does not affect my elders. In my opinion, the African
society usually shuns away when a man and a woman are just friends. Both male
and woman play a role in the society and the only time they can have a chaste
relationship is if they have family ties. Therefore, this is what makes me to
stop right there at the middle and do something else. Nevertheless, oh well,
let me get on with it.
Have you
ever walked down a street and seen a boy and a girl walking together, talking
laughing? Have you seen a man and a woman walking out of a restaurant together smiling?
What comes to your mind? Do you automatically say that they are a couple? Do you
conclude that they are in love? In addition, is it possible to have a friend of
the opposite gender and just remain friends? Alternatively, is it an illusion
that people have that male/female friends are impossible while it is not the
case? Do people have to end up on the same bed after sometime doing God knows
what? Ever heard of a platonic relationship?
Once upon
a time is stumbled across an article written on a relationship blog (seriously-maybe http://seriously-maybe.com/friends-without-benefits/) about
platonic relationships. The author was arguing that after sometime a man and a
woman who are friends will end up having sex in the end. He further argued that
people develop feelings and these feelings lead to intimacy. It got me
thinking, is it usually true? Alternatively, is there another outcome to that
story?
A platonic
relationship is a type of relationship that is non-intimate, chaste or
non-sexual. This is a type of relationship that exists between a man and a
woman, a boy or a girl or in present day society, between people of the same
sex without any forms of sexual activities or intimacy. I know in my society
that older men and women always give a suspicious eye to any person who prefers
to keep a person of an opposite gender as only friends. But does it have to be
case always?
A man
and a woman can only be friends without any forms of intimacy. It is possible
if both parties know what they want and have. However, this form of
relationships requires respect and commitment. A man and a woman can be best
friends and they respect each other’s space. There are things that friends do
not do and that includes kissing, and having sex. Therefore, in platonic
relationships, it has to be clear and ensure that the boundary is not crossed
at any time.
The beauty
of having a platonic relationship is like having a sister-brother relationship.
This comes in handy especially where you require the other person to take care
of you. For instance, while going for clubbing your platonic friend is the
person most suitable to take care of you. They will see your crazy side that
your boyfriend or girlfriend may get a cardiac arrest when they see it and
still they do not judge you. They will take care of you when you have drunk one
too many and you end up blacking out (kuchew blackout). Overall, they will
stick by you no matter what. That’s what friends do anyway.
They usually
say that people who listen and understand one better is a person of the opposite
sex. Lets all agree on here first. You cannot tell some things to your boys because
they will either laugh at you or make you look like a sissy. Moreover, you
cannot tell some things to your girls because they will judge you or worse talk
to people about it. There was a time a mother advised me to have friends of the
opposite sex cause they will never talk about you behind your back. As for me
am referring to male friends, they are loyal to maintaining secrets (I am still
trying to figure out though if she was right). But so far, she is right. Additionally,
most men are good listeners. They will listen to you talk and give you their
opinion or advice. Oh, please kindly note that I am not asking you to go to a
man and start asking about your wardrobe and new outfits to include unless he
is a gay man of course. There are things that your male friends know how to
handle more than your female friends do and vice versa when it comes to men.
I am a
person who believes in valuing friendships so when it comes to platonic
relationships I am cool with it. Therefore, whether it is platonic or not, I
have to maintain it all the time.
