platonic relationships

I have been debating within myself for a very long time whether to write about this topic or not. There are so many times I have taken my computer, written a page about it and then something clicks in my mind to stop writing. The reason(s) that have been making me to put down my computer and do something else is when I think of my audience. It is hard to look for a specific manner in which I can write this topic and it does not affect my elders. In my opinion, the African society usually shuns away when a man and a woman are just friends. Both male and woman play a role in the society and the only time they can have a chaste relationship is if they have family ties. Therefore, this is what makes me to stop right there at the middle and do something else. Nevertheless, oh well, let me get on with it.

Have you ever walked down a street and seen a boy and a girl walking together, talking laughing? Have you seen a man and a woman walking out of a restaurant together smiling? What comes to your mind? Do you automatically say that they are a couple? Do you conclude that they are in love? In addition, is it possible to have a friend of the opposite gender and just remain friends? Alternatively, is it an illusion that people have that male/female friends are impossible while it is not the case? Do people have to end up on the same bed after sometime doing God knows what? Ever heard of a platonic relationship?

Once upon a time is stumbled across an article written on a relationship blog (seriously-maybe http://seriously-maybe.com/friends-without-benefits/) about platonic relationships. The author was arguing that after sometime a man and a woman who are friends will end up having sex in the end. He further argued that people develop feelings and these feelings lead to intimacy. It got me thinking, is it usually true? Alternatively, is there another outcome to that story?

A platonic relationship is a type of relationship that is non-intimate, chaste or non-sexual. This is a type of relationship that exists between a man and a woman, a boy or a girl or in present day society, between people of the same sex without any forms of sexual activities or intimacy. I know in my society that older men and women always give a suspicious eye to any person who prefers to keep a person of an opposite gender as only friends. But does it have to be case always?

A man and a woman can only be friends without any forms of intimacy. It is possible if both parties know what they want and have. However, this form of relationships requires respect and commitment. A man and a woman can be best friends and they respect each other’s space. There are things that friends do not do and that includes kissing, and having sex. Therefore, in platonic relationships, it has to be clear and ensure that the boundary is not crossed at any time.

The beauty of having a platonic relationship is like having a sister-brother relationship. This comes in handy especially where you require the other person to take care of you. For instance, while going for clubbing your platonic friend is the person most suitable to take care of you. They will see your crazy side that your boyfriend or girlfriend may get a cardiac arrest when they see it and still they do not judge you. They will take care of you when you have drunk one too many and you end up blacking out (kuchew blackout). Overall, they will stick by you no matter what. That’s what friends do anyway.

They usually say that people who listen and understand one better is a person of the opposite sex. Lets all agree on here first. You cannot tell some things to your boys because they will either laugh at you or make you look like a sissy. Moreover, you cannot tell some things to your girls because they will judge you or worse talk to people about it. There was a time a mother advised me to have friends of the opposite sex cause they will never talk about you behind your back. As for me am referring to male friends, they are loyal to maintaining secrets (I am still trying to figure out though if she was right). But so far, she is right. Additionally, most men are good listeners. They will listen to you talk and give you their opinion or advice. Oh, please kindly note that I am not asking you to go to a man and start asking about your wardrobe and new outfits to include unless he is a gay man of course. There are things that your male friends know how to handle more than your female friends do and vice versa when it comes to men.

I am a person who believes in valuing friendships so when it comes to platonic relationships I am cool with it. Therefore, whether it is platonic or not, I have to maintain it all the time.

So far having a platonic relationship is an awesome thing. There are no intimate feelings that are likely to cloud your judgement, quarrels and shouting that is common among couples and you both have a win-win situation where you both have a peace of mind. The greatest downfall though of this type of relationship is when feelings develop and start to make everything blurry. I cannot deny that occasionally one party falls for the other and makes the whole friendship/relationship awkward especially if it is not mutual. It makes the party that does not feel the same to look like an animal. However, before that time comes do get to enjoy a chaste relationship with your girl or boy. It does not all have to end up being about love and sex all the time, you know.